#RPG #DnD – 5e – The Pseudointellectual Dragon

Tiny dragon, neutral good

Small, drab dragons who hoard unconventional (meaning wrong) lore, and expound loudly and at length on subjects they know nothing about.

Some perversely masochistic magicians have them as familiars, enjoying the opportunity they provide to hone their rhetorical skill. Other pseudointellectual dragons find productive employment as journalists, sages, loremasters, cultural critics, Inhuman Resources department heads and sensitivity readers.

These roles will suffice until Talk Radio or social media are invented in whatever fantasy realm they find themselves.

Challenge: 1/4 (50 XP)
Armor Class: 13 (natural armor)
Hit Points: 5 (2d4)
Speed:15 ft, fly 60 ft.

STR: 6 (−2) DEX: 15 (+2) CON: 10 (+0) INT: 10 (+0) WIS: 10 (+0) CHA: 15 (+2)

Skills: Deception +4, Any Intelligence Skill +2
Senses: blindsight 10 ft, darkvision 60 ft, passive Perception 11.
Languages: Understands Common and Draconic, and can bullshit in either.
Ripe Bullshit: The pseudointellectual dragon has advantage on Charisma (Deception) checks that rely on the spoken word.
Magic Resistance: The pseudointellectual dragon has advantage on saving throws against spells and other magical effects.
Limited Knowledge: The pseudointellectual dragon ignores any roll higher than 10 on an Intelligence-based roll, taking the 10 instead.

Actions
Bite: Melee Weapon Attack:+4 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: 4 (1d4 + 2) piercing damage.
Bullshit Breath (Recharge 5-6): The pseudointellectual dragon utters a confusing babble of nonsense in a 15 ft cone. Any creature within that area that can comprehend Common (or draconic) must make an Intelligence Save against a DC11 or suffer one of the random effects of the Confusion spell.

#RPG – Actual Fucking Monsters preview, Monster Hunters

In AFM the background is mostly implicit, rather than explicit. The GM and the characters will create the (unreliable) lore of the world as they play. Even so, I felt some areas needed a little more definition. Monster hunter groups are likely to play a big role in any game that lasts long enough. The Inquisition is SO played out, so I went further afield looking for inspiration…

DEEP ORG

When Monsters are hurting, they can reach out for help, just like humans do. Monsters are usually not fortunate enough to find a helpful therapist and don’t often retain much in the way of contact with their families. If they don’t learn how to be self-reliant or can’t find some other way to exorcise their demons, they may well fall victim to cults, ‘occultism’ and pseudo-religions.

Some Monsters have found themselves unlucky enough to run afoul of a particular cult. This cult, primarily based around wealth and celebrity, has long sought some way – any way – to meet the kinds of promises it has made to its members. Monsters have provided that way, along with evidence of the supernatural and a dangerous enemy.

The cult believes that Monsters are thieves of the powers and abilities that humans should have at the highest levels of the cult. They consider Monsters to – by and large – be ‘exograms’, Frankenstein’s Monsters of bad experiences and soul fragments, bound around supernatural powers that are the birthright of ‘cleared’ humans. When they hunt Monsters, it is to destroy the exograms and free the powers.

The hunters from this cult are called ‘Deep Org’ and are secret, even for a cult that loves its secrets. The Org reports directly to the Chairman of the cult and is led by The Commander – a title that replaces their identity. The Commander oversees around fifty Deep Org agents around the world all of whom have a long history of loyalty to the cult and have some military or law-enforcement experience.

Type: Human NPC
Trio: Mind: d8, Body: d8, Spirit: d10
Mask: Fanatical Cultist d4 (Cult Teaching d10, Melee Combat d8, Firearms d8)
Powers: Arrogant self-confidence is a strange idea of a power, but members of Deep Org truly believe they are superior and to an extent that self-belief makes it true. Each member can choose a +1 bonus to one of their Trio on every roll that includes it. They often also believe they have other powers, such as immunity to poison and disease, telepathy and other psychic abilities. They don’t actually have them, just believe that they do.
Gear: Deep Org has access to firearms and equipment around the globe, safe-houses and top-notch legal representation as well as several large yachts and other vessels. They tend to dress in variations of navy or marine uniforms, or nautically themed attire such as blazers and deck shoes. They typically arm themselves with heavy automatic pistols, such as the Colt .45 and carry bags, cuffs and other kidnapping equipment. Their specialised EM meters can often detect Monsters, but only with skin-to-skin contact.

#RPG – Actual Fucking Monsters Preview for Supporters

Actual Fucking Monsters – the RPG of unrepentant, monstrous transgression (the cover is a fake-out) – is now finished as a rough draft, and that first draft is available to people who back me on Patreon or Subscribestar (along with a whole host of other things like disount codes).

You can back me for as little as $1 US a month, or more, and this helps give me the space and funds to pursue better games, better art, more video creation and the possibility of podcasts in the future. You get access to me for support, questions, suggestions, video topic suggestions and more.

If at all possible, please back me on Subscribestar as I need a certain amount of subscribers and a certain amount of cash to be able to cash-out from there.

#RPG – Actual Fucking Monsters

I’m currently working on a couple of things, Metacards (systemless RP prompts to encourage roleplay and verisimilitude) and Actual Fucking Monsters, my spasm of disgust against the humanisation of monsters and the ‘pussification’ of vampires, werewolves and other monstrosities, inspired in part by Nightbreed (Cabal) and intended as a reaction to the lack of actual fucking horror present in most modern horror RP, TV series, films and so forth.

Rules can only do so much, the way you play a game – or are encouraged to – can also make a huge difference. In the advice section I lay out five ‘pillars’ that are meant to guide playing Actual Fucking Monsters.

Push the Envelope
Every player, including the Games Master, should be seeking to push the envelope of horrific and stomach-churning action that takes place in the game. In a time when so many games are bending over backwards to be overly considerate about people’s feelings and to protect them, this is meant to be like a roller coaster or a horror film. It’s meant to terrify and disgust each other – for fun.

There are Consequences
Everything you do in the game will come back to bite you on the arse in some way. You eat a child to fill your satiation? The mother tracks you down, even when the police give up. People see your monstrous visage and it goes viral on the internet. The sheriff comes after you, then the state police, then the feds, then monster hunters and witch burners. Everything you do comes back.

There is no Redemption
This isn’t a story about redemption or a cure. There is no spiritually pure path and probably no insight into the lore of your people. It is a downward spiral into despair and death and an inevitable bad-ending. This is Near Dark, not Interview with the Vampire.

Everyone is Awful
Nobody is good or pure or nice in this world. Every cop is a womaniser, a racist or an alcoholic. Every parent beats their children or never sees them. Every friend is a betrayer, every lover will cheat on you, everyone is out for themselves or out to get you. If you scratch the surface there’s nothing but darkness beneath.

Everyone Dies
There’s no ‘winning’ in this game. There’s no grand adventure. The world is reactive to everything you do and eventually, it all catches up to you. That’s the story here, and you ‘win’ by being an antihero, transgressing morality, pushing buttons and dying a spectacular death.

#RPG – Soon… (soon being a relative term for me)

AFMfront

Grimdark – Possessed Armour

lynton-levengood-dread-champions-of-the-order-of-the-blackened-sun-x1600
A suit of animated armour, possessed by an evil ghost. The faint and shadowy form of the wearer can be made out, between the joints and interwoven with the armour itself which takes on a darker hue – like aged iron.
Medium Undead, Lawful Evil
AC 18 (Natural Armour)
HP 33 (6d8+6) [Grimdark HP 8
Heroism (Villainy) 2
Speed 25 ft.
Str 14+2, Dex 11+0, Con -. Int 11+0. Wis 11+0. Cha 11+0.
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#Starfinder – Starfinder Month Bonus: TurboHitler

robohitler_by_deimos_remus-d97j1yqTurboHitler

Some evil transcends space, time and even the barriers of reality. Turbo Hitler is but one manifestation from the Liga der Unendlichen Nazis (League of Infinite Nazis) who constantly probe at the barriers between realities from Vampire Himmler’s Transdimensional Fortress Wewelsburg. Many a hapless world has fallen to fleets of saucers bearing the crooked cross, the howling madness of the were-macht or the legions of storm-giant troopers.

Turbo Hitler is but one manifestation of the Infinite Fuhrer, albeit a dangerous one. Resurrected by the elixirs of Herbert West when a dead German corporal was brought to his trench-lab, the undead Hitler spent weeks in No-Man’s Land feasting on the bodies of the fallen until he recovered his senses.

Decapitated in a climactic battle with Iron Joe’s gorilla-soldiers the still-living head was spirited away as the remnants of his Reich fled across the dimensions in Wewelsburg, finally settling in a dead reality to rebuild – and be rebuilt.

***

The absolute madman.

Challenge accepted.

Etc.

There’s an adage in gaming, ‘if you stat it, they will kill it’. So, let’s kill (turbo) Hitler.

***

Lawful-Evil
Construct/Undead (technological/Cybernetic) Envoy
CR: 25

Str: +7, Dex: +5, Con: -, Cha: +15, Int: +8, Wis: +12

Initiative: +5, Speed: 25 ft.

Fortitude: +19, Reflex: +21, Will: +26

EAC: 42
KAC: 43
Prismatic Forcefield: 50 temp HP, Fast Healing 10, Fortification 100 (infinite effective power)
Mk2 Spell Reflector

Resolve: 8

Hit Points: 650

Attacks:
Mech Stomp +39 Melee, 12d12+32
Panzerarme +37 Ranged, Range 100 ft, 20 rounds, 25d6 P, 20 ft radius.
Pop-Out Heavy MG Secondary Weapon +37, Range 120 ft, 100 rounds, usage 4, Analog, Automatic.

Special Abilities:
Darkvision 60 ft, Low-Light Vision, Construct Immunities, Unliving, Undead Immunities.
True Expertise (Improved Get ‘Em) – Resolve spend effect for free (Envoy Ability)
Sustained Determination (Envoy Ability)
Hidden Agenda (Envoy Ability)
Draw Fire (Envoy Ability)
Long Range Improvisation (Envoy Ability)
Skilful
anime_hitler_by_rebelofgod-dajd932Crush (As standard melee attack, but after leaping onto the target, pins them)

Skills:
Sense Motive: +47
Bluff: +47
Intimidate +47
Culture +42

Profession (Demagogue/Cha) +42