Genties, Ladymen and children of all genders!
Cast your functioning sensory organs in something approximating this direction and gaze in awe and wonder at the cavalcade of entertainment and dysfunction on show!
Step this way, and for the low, low fee of your attention you will find diversions most deviant, entertainments most exciting and writings most wicked. We practically (but not actually) guarantee your satisfaction and amusement!
Behold, the hall of Social Media! What distractions and horrors may lie inside these darkened halls?
Perhaps you seek the cheap thrill of voyeurism to be found in the unblinking gaze of Madam Narcissist!
Will you test your mettle and your patience in the Blue Bird Arena?
There are new attractions too, wild and untamed creatures from the furthest reaches of the internet, untouched by Amazon or Google. Dare you risk the Tent of Bulbs, it’s burlesque titillations or its house of games?
Try your luck against the Honest Interlocutor to see if you have the gift of the Gab, win yourself a stuffed frog.
Away from the hoi polloi are the caravans, offering delectations to our more discerning visitors.
Perhaps marvellous mechanisms will better meet your motivation, in which case sign up for a ride on our Steem-powered rollercoaster? It rises and falls with the speed and terror of a cryptocurrency’s value!
Finally, at the centre of our little circus, you will find the Astounding Arena of Audiovisual Announcement, where your eyes and ears will be tickled by recordings from The Great Beardini!
Don’t forget to visit our concession stands on your way out.
Apparel to clad your fragile bodies and protect them from the elements.
Boards, cards, dice and devices to distract you from your imminent mortality.
Not to mention other, miscellaneous junk and tat we’re trying to get shot of.
Finally, can I perhaps tempt you with a season ticket?
For as little as a single of your Earth dollars, you can gain access to the carnival and the ringmaster as much as you may care to spend your time here, not to mention getting plenty of discounts on our other diversions.
Failing that, please leave a tip in the jar on your way out.
And failing that… well… the trolls always need to be fed.