Postmortem Studios Update 1st March 2019

It’s March, and that means mad March hares, aggressive duck sex in the back garden and the feeling that the year has finally, actually started and one should get on with things. So it goes.

There’s a lot of ‘behind the scenes’ stuff going on that is already interfering with the projects I had planned, albeit in the best way. There’s a possible new computer game project I might be writing for, a couple of guest writers for the few Gorean Adventures and the new store continues to gain traction. Actual Fucking Monsters continues at a reasonable pace in spite of the interruption – I’m currently working on a nice big section of suggested monster powers. I’m also looking to get Alice Through the Garbage Grinder edited late spring/early summer – so there’s some new fiction to look forward to.

In addition to all that I am (slowly) creating an audio version of the 5th Edition D&D SRD, which will be hosted first on my Youtube channel, and then made available as an mp3 audiobook.

Things are productive, even if they don’t necessarily look it.

First things first, do be sure and go and check out our new online store. I’d love to see the majority of our sales shift to that channel, where I’ll also be offering a limited number of ’boutique’ items, physical products, second-hand gaming material and more.

There’s a mailing list you can sign up to there too, to hear when we have something new out, like our new Metacard, roleplay encouragement system. You can also get cheeky discounts by signing up.

The ever-lovely Anna Cherry of Erinyes Angels has modelled some of our t-shirts, so look forward to seeing more of that coming along! I’d love to work with more cosplayers and nerdosphere models of all genders, so if you’d like to model or pose for other products, get in touch.

If you like the shirts, you can get them at Teespring. Anna Cherry’s not included, separate purchase necessary.

So where does that leave various projects?

  • Unfortunately, the person I had pegged for the Zelart Scholarship had to drop out and couldn’t deliver a final piece due to an injury. I’ll be doing a separate update on this for you.
  • Actual Fucking Monsters should be written by the end of the month, I’m not sure if I need more art for it or not, so it may be out at that time.
  • I have to devote some time and energy to this potential computer game project.
  • The SRD will be recorded as and when I have the time, but I do intend to see it through to the end.

An Updated Grim Bibliography

Stack of BooksWriter/Designer
’45: Double Feature
’45: Psychobilly Retropocalypse
@ctiv8 Second Edition
100 Conspiracies
100 Conspirators
100 Dark Places
100 Fantasy Adventure Seeds
100 Fantasy Kingdoms
100 Horror Adventure Seeds
100 Planets
100 Science Fiction Adventure Seeds
17 Monk Feats
A Place Beyond Hell
Ace of Hearts
Ace Slamm: Space Bastard (short story)
Actual Assassin
Actual Monk
Actual Paladin
Agents of SWING
Agents of SWING: Agent’s Casefile
Agents of SWING: Control’s Casefile
Agents of SWING: Gosh, Spies!
Agents of SWING: Snake Eyes
Agents of SWING: The Art of P.A.I.N.
Agents of SWING: Untouchable
Army of Civilisation
Army of the Barbarians
Army of the Dwarves
Army of the Elves
Army of the Goblinoids
Autopsy 1
Autopsy 2
Autopsy 3
Autopsy 4
Black Mass
Blood Tales: Clearing
Blood Tales: More than you can Chew
Blood Tales: The End
Blood Tales: Windycon
Bloodsucker: The Angst
Bloodsucker: The Angst (Xpress Edition)
Call of Cthentacle: Spankham Asylum
Cannibal Sector One
Cichol’s Children (Short story)
Cloak of Steel
Colony: Moon
Cross City Race (Dragon)
Cthentacle: At the Mountings of Madness
Cthentacle: The Dunbitch Horror
Cthulhu Britannica: Folklore
Daikaiju Die!
Diversity Dungeons
Doc Osmium: Synchronius Maximus (Short story)
Encyclopaedia Arcane: Nymphology
ePublisher d20/OGL Guide
Faces in the Smoke: Volume 2
Faith in the Future (Comic)
Fatal Highway
Feast of Crows
Filthy Shades Cliché
Final Straw: Highschool Revenge
Fistful of Fantasy 1
Fistful of Fantasy 2
Fistful of Fantasy 3
Fistful of Fantasy 4
Fistful of Horror 1
Fistful of Horror 2
Fistful of Horror 3
Fistful of Modern 1
Fistful of Modern 2
Foul Humours
Freakshow: Agent of Chaos
Freakshow: Auditor of Order
Freakshow: Avenging Angel
Freakshow: Banshee
Freakshow: Bloodworm
Freakshow: Bloody Wheels
Freakshow: Body Part
Gives you Wings
Hentacle: 4Play
Hentacle: Sloppy Seconds
Hentacle: Three’s an Orgy
Inside Gamergate
Invaderz: Pocket Edition
Judge Dredd: Full Eagle Day
Lady Bexington’s Home for Wayward Zombies
Live System
Living Constructs
Macho Women with Guns d20
Mimsy Burogrove: Psychedelic Detective (Short story)
Neverwhere RPG 1st Edition
Neverwhere RPG 2nd Edition
Neverwhere RPG 3rd Edition
Obsidian Eclipse Book 1: The Well of Dead Flesh
Obsidian Eclipse Book 2: Root & Branch
Obsidian Twilight
Old, Fat Punks
Origins of the Specious
Powder Monkeys
Pulp Nova
Races of Obsidian Twilight
Races of Pirates of the Bronze Sky: Kaylethon
Races of Pirates of the Bronze Sky: Tocarra
Rink Rash (Short story)
Sex, Dice & Gamer Chicks
Tales of Gor
Tessa Coyle: Science Police (Short story)
The Black Rat: Something special (Short story)
The Alchymyst
The Brock
The Cathedral of Misogyny
The Chancer
The Chronomancer
The Dastard (Short story)
The Description System
The Little Grey Book
The Quintessential Temptress
The Slayer’s Guide to Female Gamers
The Slayer’s Guide to Rules Lawyers
The Tower of Art
Traveller OGL: Alienist
Tunnels & Trolls: Specialists
UNORTHODOX Ranged Combatants
Urban Faerie
Urban Faerie: Pocket Edition
Ursa Carrien
Victoriana: War of the Worlds (Unpublished)
Wild: The Dark Canopy (Short story)
Word Wizards
World of Gor
Xpress Core System

City of Stormreach
Dark Harvest: Legacy of Frankenstein – Tales of Promethea (Short story)
Dead Man’s Tome: Final Contact
Dead Man’s Time: No Safe Word
Faces in the Smoke Vol 2.
Full Metal Orgasm 1: Little Death (Short story)
Full Metal Orgasm 2: Who does it Hurt? (Short story)
Full Metal Orgasm 3: High Heaven (Short story)
Hunter Sheets: Issue 2
Judge Dredd: Mega City-One Archives Volume 3 (Reference)
Lovecraft After Dark
Monster Manual V
Obsidian Apocalypse: World of Abaddon
Red Phone Box (Story cycle)
Sex in London: Falling Down (Short story)
Ultimate Feats
Ultimate Prestige Classes Vol.1
Under Cover of Darkness: In His Clutches (Short story)
Victoriana: Faces in the Smoke Volume 1
Victoriana: Faces in the Smoke Volume 2
Victoriana: Faulkners Millinery & Miscellanea

6Pack: Battle’s End
6Pack: Black Rock Bandits
6Pack: Black Rock Bandits
6Pack: Desecration
6Pack: Incursion
6Pack: Kiss of the Frog God
6Pack: Sickness in Springdale
6Pack: The Sting
6Pack: THULU!
Actual Spacemonkey
Agents of SWING: Minifigs
Bloodsucker: The Batshit
Bloodsucker: The Batshit (Xpress Edition)
Bloodsucker: The Juice
Bloodsucker: The Juice (Xpress Edition)
Call of Chavthulhu (Xpress Edition)
Camelot Cosmos: Coins Washed in Blood
Camelot Cosmos: Dark Night & Days of Wonder
Camelot Cosmos: GM’s Book
Camelot Cosmos: Hawk’s Hollow
Camelot Cosmos: Player’s Book
Camelot Cosmos: The Tide of Years
Chav: Call of Chavthulu
Chav: The Knifing
Chav: The Knifing (Xpress Edition)
Clipart Critters (Over 250 items)
Cliquebook: Gothistocrats
Courtesans: Sex & Society
Courtesans: The Weird and the Wonderful
Final Straw: The Art of Final Straw
Freakshow: Agent of Chaos
Freakshow: Angels of Pain
Freakshow: Auditor of Order
Freakshow: Barbskin Demon
Freakshow: Candarian Demon
Freakshow: Giant Insects
Freakshow: Psychopaths
Freakshow: The Blob
Freakshow: The Seldom Seen
Freakshow: Vampire Brains
Freakshow: Vampires
Freakshow: Zombies
Gangworld: Dark Dominatrixes
Gangworld: Darkstars
Gangworld: Effin’ Fairies
Gangworld: The Sons
Hentacle: The Art of Hentacle
RavenArt: Steampunk
STEAMED: Tactical Cards
The Game of Worlds
The Silver Cult
TobyArt: 30+ items
Tough Justice
Tough Justice: Grim and Gritty
Viper in the Nest
Wizkid: The Cheapening
ZelArt: 40+ items

Happy Birfday to Meeee!

claptrap_happy_250It’s my birthday. 21 all over again!

If you want to do something nice for me buy some of my fiction or leave me a review where you’ve bought something else. Either of those would be lovely 🙂

Like my games? You may like my fiction.

As well as writing and making games I also write fiction. I completed a set of short stories and my first novel this year. Not all of them are up for sale but some are and they might make good stocking-stuffers for people you know with kindles, tablets and all that mularky.

If you like my games you’ll find a lot of the same sort of playfulness, imagination and quirkiness in my stories – you’ll also find hints of ideas that I’m working on and even traces of worlds used in my games.,204,203,200_PIsitb-sticker-arrow-click,TopRight,35,-76_AA278_PIkin4,BottomRight,-58,22_AA300_SH20_OU02_.jpgAce Slamm: Space Bastard

Years after World War 2 was interrupted by a space invasion, rocket pilot Ace Slamm finds himself approached by three strange individuals. They want to buy a ride on his ship to Dyzan, the counter-Earth. The scientist, the feisty beauty and the sportsman are hell bent on getting to that blasted planet, but their steps are being dogged my a mysterious man in a shining metal mask.

Amazon,204,203,200_PIsitb-sticker-arrow-click,TopRight,35,-76_AA278_PIkin4,BottomRight,-58,22_AA300_SH20_OU02_.jpgMimsy Burogrove: Psychedelic Detective

In swinging London, consulting for the police on strange cases, Mimsy operates out of her trendy flat. A heady concoction of mysticism, psi and LSD gives her access to the psycheverse, a spirit-dimension There are things in the psycheverse that long to gain access to the real world as well and Mimsy may well find herself a conduit for evil spirits like Mean Mr Mustard.

Amazon,204,203,200_PIsitb-sticker-arrow-click,TopRight,35,-76_AA278_PIkin4,BottomRight,-58,22_AA300_SH20_OU02_.jpgThe Black Rat

The 1970s are a grim time in Britain. Power outages, the three-day-week and rife with police corruption and right wing violence. The Black Rat, a sort of ‘working class Batman’ takes to the streets to try and bring a little vigilante justice and payback for those the police have wronged.

Amazon Osmium: Synchronius Maximus

Two-fisted genetic superman, Doc Osmium, finds himself inexorably drawn into a series of inexplicable and seemingly unconnected events. There’s more to it though and he and his new companion must find a way to navigate the strands of fate and probability and to overcome the odds.

Amazon,204,203,200_PIsitb-sticker-arrow-click,TopRight,35,-76_AA278_PIkin4,BottomRight,-59,22_AA300_SH20_OU02_.jpgTessa Coyle: The Obsolete Prometheus

After the atom wars there were few places left where there was true civilisation. Science City is one and it depends on its bleeding edge technology to survive. This super-science transcends ethics, physics and even reality and can only be constrained by The Science Police. When experiments start going wrong, electropunk heroine Tessa and her companion Robur are on the case.


A Postmortem Update

I have been very busy, beavering away on my novel, which is almost complete and should be finished by the end of next week. This has taken time away from games writing quite a bit and as I’ve been busy two weekends in a row and have had a bit of a bout of depression things haven’t been proceeding entirely according to plan. Please bear with me!

I’ll be posting some more ImagiNation previews, everything is now done save for a few pieces of art so, fingers crossed, ImagiNation should be out by the end of the month. This will be released FREE on PDF and AT COST via Print on Demand. I’d like to get as much press as possible for this game – since it deals with depression and is intended as an aid/boost to fellow sufferers as well as a game. If you’d like to help me out with that, please get in touch.

I’ve received proofs of all the board/card games I have made – apart from Lady Bexington’s Home for Wayward Zombies on The Game Crafter (links in the side) and I have to say I am very, very pleased with the quality and results. I can’t recommend purchasing outside the US unless you’re willing to spend over the odds but if you are a US customer and want a shiny, awesome copy of Steamed, Final Straw or Cthentacle then go buy! If there’s enough interest there I’ll work on more board and card games.

When the novel is finished, because ImagiNation has been slightly delayed, I will put together the generic version of The Description System (that powers both Neverwhere and ImagiNation) and get that out ASAP.

The last bit of news is that myself and Satine Phoenix will be going ahead with Machinations of the Space Princess but as a FULL game, derived from the Lamentations rules set and aimed at providing fast, furious, simple, Sci-Fantasy adventuring weirdness in a Metal Hurlant style. Sexy, Sleazy, Swords & Sci-Fi. You can get some ideas on where my thinking for the game is going by looking at the Maksa-Jazra blog posts here (though those are more fantasy than SF). This will be an IndieGoGo fundraiser aiming for $1,000 to go to Satine for art. We’re still working out the details but look for a proper announcement sometime next week. Excess money will go to stretch goals, more art and some money going to me for the time it will take to write. It’ll be a ‘whatever amount is raised’ fundraiser.

After that, it’ll be on to a second novel and I hope you’ll all be as supportive of that endeavour as you have been of my games writing!

If you want to check out my already published short stories, you can get them at Amazon or Smashwords (just search for my name on the Nook, iBook etc stores).

Ian’s Updates

Calling for Artists

Whore’s Blade
Ophelia Rex Mini Preview
Ms Zen Mini Preview

From the Mind of UJames1978 on iBookstore
Amazon Author Page

Plays on Kindle

Fundraising, Shout Outs and Activism
Books for Sale
Corset by Design
St James Infirmary Event

Gentleman Gamer Response (Improvisation versus Planning)
On a Superb Video on Bronies

Fatal Error Network

Horror Show RPG
Penguin: Pain and Prejudice #3
Penguin: Pain and Prejudice #4
Penguin: Pain and Prejudice #5

I have a new short story out.

Head on over to to check it out.


Ian’s Updates

Bolo Tick: Orc Courtesan

Whore’s Blade Heroics/ Kittiwake Comics

From the Mind of UJames 1978 on iBookstore

Shadow World Plays on Kindle

More used Books

Corset by Design Shout Out
Amazon Author Page

Penguin Pain and Prejudice #2

Horror Show (RPG)

Fiction: The Problem of (Being) Evil

“MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” Count Du Schna’Zel’s booming – and well practised – evil laugh echoed out from his chamber. He stared into his crystal ball as his clairvoyant gaze swept over his creation, an enormous dungeon, filled with the deadliest traps, the worst monsters and the most mind-bending puzzles his cruel and devious mind could devise.

“Vomit!” He called, sweeping one great sleeve back towards the archway that gave access to his chamber.

Vomit, the goblin, lurched in – which isn’t easy when you’re only three feet tall. “Yes your wapacious woyalness?”

“Wrong speech impediment Vomit.”

“Thorry. Yeth mathter?”

“That’s better. Now, take a message.” The Count swept his robes around dramatically and sat down upon his granite throne.

Vomit scrambled for parchment and paper. He couldn’t actually read or write, but the Master didn’t need to know that, so long as he could remember.

“Let the word go forth, Vomit. The Deadly Dungeon of Du Schna’Zel is open for business. Heroes are invited from the four corners of the far realms to test their mettle, their bravery and their ability. Should they survive the dungeon they will be rewarded with riches beyond their wildest dreams.”

“not. so. fast”

The Count turned his head, frowning. A voice that – if written down – would defy conventional rules of punctuation and capitalisation generally indicated a supernatural being, a presence, an incarnation.

He was not wrong. Even here in his inner sanctum, beings from the other realms could intrude should they wish. Nowhere was safe. Still, it was an affront to his dignity. “To what do I owe the pleasure?” He asked, with what amounted to an LD50 dose of sarcasm to most creatures.

The being that stood there was grey, thin, its arms were like tentacles, seeming to be able to reach everywhere at once. It was covered in eyes, unblinking and staring and an aura of judgemental certitude hung about it like a cheap perfume.

“there has been a change in the rules,” the thing spoke without a mouth, quiet but with a sense of absolute authority.

“There has?” The Count narrowed his eyes and preened his long, thin, moustache and beard. This did not bode well, the creature must be a thing of law, adjusting the rules of the universe. “How does this affect me? Why do you care? Why should I care about the hidden probabilities and secrets of the universe?”

“oh no. it goes beyond that this time.”

“What in the thousand hells do you mean?” The Count leapt up angrily from his seat and kicked Vomit out of the archway in frustration, sending the unfortunate goblin sailing some distance and out of sight.

“well, that, for example. you should not mistreat your minions in such a way.”

“Why not?” The Count leant over his crystal ball and glared at the creature, agent of the universe or not, it was getting on his tits.

“it creates a bad impression and encourages violence.”


The being ignored him and carried on speaking. “your minions, are they all goblins?”

“My family has a proud tradition of employing goblins. My minions are, indeed, all goblins, save the monsters in the dungeon.” The Count folded his arms challengingly and arched one eyebrow sceptically, a look that had caused his previous page, Scabies, to literally shit himself to death. It had no effect on this being.

“unacceptable. from now on you must employ a range of creatures, goblinoid and otherwise at all levels of your organisation.”


“to do otherwise would be racist.”

The Count almost choked to death on his own beard, chewing on it in an attempt to control his rage. “Is that all?” He somehow managed to choke out, spitting beard hairs.

“no. are any of your employees disabled?”

“You mean cripples?” The Count asked, incredulously. The creature reacted to that, recoiling slightly as though the very word hurt it.

“that term is not… politic, but yes.”

“What bloody use is a crippled goblin?” The Count stared at the creature, wondering if he was in the right universe any more, “If the wound is too severe I feed the poor creature to the Pit Beast, otherwise a Priest of Fognarr heals it.”


The Count was curious now, his eyes boggling out of his head with rage and incomprehension, but he needed to know how far this stupidity was going to go. “What else?”

“how many of your employees are female?”

“Outside of the whore-dome? None. The goblins have ‘family’ in the breeding pens of course…”

“unacceptable. you must allow these females to work for you as well.”

“But the attrition rate! If they’re not busy making more goblins they’ll die out. You know how adventurers are…”

“we do not care. you will make these changes or else.”

“Or else what…” The Count narrowed his eyes, fingers twitched a dance in front of him.

“or else you will be edited.”

ZORNIT’S GALVANIC BOLT!” Cried the count, his patience at an end, unleashing the raw power of magic against this strange fiend.

AURA OF SELF-RIGHTEOUSNESS!” The bolt ricocheted off the creature and blasted a fist sized hole in the ceiling. “if you’re quite done, the whore dome is another matter. it must be shut. it’s sexist and is creating unrealistic expectations amongst the local village girls.”

The Count was now practically vibrating with rage, but it was useless, nothing could touch this creature, it was part of the universe itself. “They’re succubi… shaped by the infernal powers themselves to tempt men beyond reason. Why by Glocknarr’s hairy balls would a village peasant girl think she could, or would measure up to the erotic imaginings of the Hell Prince of Erotica?”

“as part of the change he will become the hell prince of hugs and kittens.”

“Give me strength,” the Count hissed to himself, leaning heavily on his table. “I suppose you want me to replace all the winding stairways with ramps and make sure all the riddles are in goblinoid as well as common, maybe braille as well? Should I flood the whole dungeon so that acquatic beings can swim through it as well?”

“that would be wonderful.”

“You do understand that I am evil. Yes? I have constructed this dungeon specifically to kill people. The whore-dome is for my amusement. I enjoy torturing and dominating goblins and the only reason I care about the villagers is that they pay taxes?”

“your actions reflect on your creator. see that you fix things.” With that, it was gone.

The Count slumped back into his chair and slapped his hands against his face, shoulders heaving in a deep, deep sigh. After a moment he straightened his back and yelled out. “VOMIT!”

The goblin scurried back in, rubbing its bruised arse with one bony green hand. “Y-y-y-yes m-m-master?”

“Wrong speech impediment Vomit…”

“Thorry mathter.”

“Scratch the previous note. We’re going to need another one. Make a list. I need to call the builders, get burkas for the whore-dome, oh, no, the ‘sex worker half-spheroid’, fatten some of them up, oh and send the lamia from inhuman resources up…”

It was going to be a long, long day.


With thanks to Kris Hansen for the inspiration.

The Deadly Dungeon of Du Schna’Zel is intended as a future ‘choose your own adventure’ charity project.

Ian’s Updates

New projects
Scandal Sheets Volume 3 Cover

Whore’s Blade 20,000
MLA Warband
Warband Profile: Quizzers
Casting Call

Is It Awesome
DC Universe Online