Invaderz Adventure Seed: Space Trash

Inspired by this news story.

“Jerkian warrior elite! You have been selected for an important mission. The weak and useless Earthian space programme is primitive at beast but they do manage to launch rockets, missiles and even to establish semi-permanent space habitats such as the creatively named ‘Spacelab’. Their primitive spacecraft are next to useless and cannot even survive the tiniest impact without being punctured or destroyed. Unlike our vastly superior saucer craft. You will, then, undertake a mission to destroy as many Earthian spacecraft  as possible, to create a whirling shield of fragments that will deny them their space capability, such as it is! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

– Fleet Commander Pok

Whatever other equipment the Jerkian’s are issued with, they’re also issued with a flying saucer and space suits.

Their first satellite attack will go off flawlessly, right up until the point that they destroy it, when a whirling piece of debris will strike their saucer like some kind of rampaging death bee and cause it to whirl out of control and self destruct after a suitable interval. They will have time to escape, whereupon they will find themselves floating in space.

Luckily they’re near the aforementioned Space Lab which is currently docked to a Soyuz for an international space meet-up and has three American astronauts and three Russian cosmonauts on board. If they can get to the station, gain access and take it over they can continue their mission by sabotaging the station, which is big enough to set off an orbital chain reaction and create the debris field.

Getting OFF the station again may be difficult, the Fleet Commander cannot pick the up or may not want to pick them up. Pretending to be filthy humans they might be able to request a rescue mission and then hijack the shuttle or rocket that’s sent for them, but otherwise they can simply die for the glorious Jerkian cause and receive the Imperial Medal for Extreme Heroism and Stupidity With Cross Ray-Guns, posthumously.

Coming Soon(ish): Lady Bexington’s Home for Wayward Zombies

A board game for ladies and gentlemen of character and good humour.
Styled after the paper theatre.
Relieves boredom.
Cures feminine hysteria.
Excellent value.

Following the passage of our Earth through a belt of purple, poisonous aether, the dead returned to life with a most distasteful and regrettable desire for devouring the flesh of the living. Needless to say the undead menace was soon put in its place by the stout and stalwart British army but problems linger.

Lady Bexington is a philanthropist whom, much as others who have taken pity on the poor or the sick, has taken pity on the dead and established a home in which the wandering corpses of the great and the good – including some say a Prince of the royal household – along with charitable cases can be preserved and cared for without posing a risk to the public. 

Except, sometimes, they get out.

They need to be put back into their cages. Preferably before you and your guests get eaten.