Review: John Carter

I saw John Carter opening day in the UK and I was pleasantly surprised. Given that I’m British and we have a talent for understatement, let me rephrase that in an American-friendly fashion.

This film is goddamn awesome. Go see it right now!

Liberties have been taken with the story – somewhat – but it’s recognisible. The racism and sexism of Burroughs’ writing (a product of its time) has been tempered with some modern sensibility, but by no means has the naive charm of the story been destroyed.

The effects are excellent, the CGI is grounded and is not disruptive or included ‘simply for the sake of it’. The landscapes are gorgeous, the props solid and while, perhaps, it’s a little less colourful in palate than it could have been it doesn’t succumb to the ‘beige = realistic’ mistake of many CGI heavy films.

First the little nitpicky criticisms:

1. Not enough nakey: there was no way Disney was going to go with the original. Tits were out of the question and loose-flapping wang was absolutely never going to happen. It’s a pity we can’t see the ‘real’ vision brought to life but this is as close as it gets and I can deal.

2. 3D: I saw the film in 3D. It had absolutely no reason to be in 3D and while the 3D didn’t ruin the film it did detract from the experience. In many of the wide landscape shots it made the travelling figures/mounts look like little toys and spoiled the sense of scale they were trying to convey. If you can see it in 2D, see it in 2D.

Now the gushing praise:

I haven’t felt like this about a film since, perhaps, the original Star Wars. It was wonderful, truly wonderful. There was nothing cynical about it, nothing knowing or nodding. It didn’t make fun of itself or view itself in a self-deprecating way. It was a great, ‘old fashioned’, adventure film.

I mean, I loved it. I felt like I was ten again. I want to go charging around a playground having pretend swordfights and rescuing princesses (fortunately, as a gamer I can do some of that).

The Tharks were believable and harked back to some of the best illustrations of those there ever have been and while the creatures weren’t always true to the book descriptions they were close enough.

Carter wasn’t a huge, buff, hero, more an everyman of the type you can relate to physically. A break from the book, certainly, but also one that I think is an improvement. Dejah Thoris is, equally, a believable beauty rather than a barbie girl and the ending scenes had a palpable chemistry and a look of convincing adoration in her eyes worth a hundred more explicit love scenes in a hundred other movies.

Martian women have always been fierce in the novels and in another break they introduced her fierceness a lot sooner in the story. Again, I think this improved it though I do think it will upset purists. It was one of the chief things that concerned me going into the film (along with the atrocious marketing) but I left reassured and happy.

I sincerely hope they’re able to follow up with sequels and that they remain this true to the books in the future. The perfect balance between respect and modernisation.

Just, see it in 2D if you can.

Style: 4

Substance: 5

Overall: 4.5

Here’s some Michael Whelan cover art to end with. The original had no panties Also here’s a download of a Barsoom compilation, which is public domain in Australia and Canada, but ABSOLUTELY DO NOT DOWNLOAD IF YOU LIVE ELSEWHERE. I certainly didn’t.

Little Grey Book Review

Shane O’Connor did a nice review of The Little Grey Book over at RPGNOW. I’ve been loathe to go too into the game or what it is since I didn’t want to colour preconceptions about it. I wanted to let it speak for itself and have people put their own interpretation on it.

This is a good review though. If you want to honour my wishes SPOILER ALERT! If you want to get an idea what it’s about, read on:

It’s been said that “simple is best.” This is a fairly universal axiom that can apply to almost anything, including games. Of course, it can also be fairly ironic in that it’s also easy to take too far, in which case the simplicity is no longer what’s best. It’s in this vein that Postmortem Studios has released their game – I’m not sure if I should call it a role-playing game or not – The Little Grey Book.

The Little Grey Book is a two-page PDF file. Each page is divided into three columns, with the first column of the first page being the cover image, and the last column of the second page being a “character sheet,” as it were.

I keep equivocating about whether or not this is a role-playing game because, as a game, it lacks a lot of the traditional trappings of most RPGs. There is no randomizer, for instance (e.g. dice, drawing cards, etc.) nor is there any sort of referee or Game Master. The Little Grey Book is more of a storytelling game than anything else, and the quality of the stories are…well, read below for more on that.

The premise of The Little Grey Book is that it takes place in a utopian society. Everyone is equal in every way, and society is run by the Consensus. All permutations of sex and sexual identity are accepted, all ages are accepted, and even names have not only had surnames removed entirely, but the remaining personal names are all gender-neutral.

The game-play here involves each player (of which there need to be at least three) creating a character based on choosing a name, age, and gender/sex. Each player then describes one typical day in their character’s life, from waking up until going to bed. The remaining players collectively play the role of the Consensus; each Consensus member can describe a troubled situation that happens during the day (e.g. someone flirts with you), and the player needs to describe how they resolve it before continuing on with their day.

The rub here is that the (non-Consensus) player gets a black mark from the other members of the Consensus each time he does anything that violates the equality of someone else. This is incredibly easy to do. Frowning at someone is passing judgment on them, for instance. Using a gender-specific pronoun is making an assumption on their sexual identity. Offering a tip to a waiter is a comparative insult to other waiters. In other words, differences (both real and perceived) still exist between people, but every time you fail to pretend that such differences don’t exist, you get a black mark. Hence, virtually every time a Consensus member introduces a troubled situation into your day, you’re going to screw up somehow; it’s a given.

Each player takes a turn as the person describing their day, and all of the other players operate as members of the Consensus, until everyone has had a turn. Consensus members tell the player why they got the black marks they did, but there’s no arguing these judgments. The explanations are final. The game ends when the person with the most black marks is taken away for “adjustment” (which isn’t defined, though you can probably guess) and the person with the least black marks gets off with a warning…making them the de facto winner.

That’s literally the entire game.

It’s clear that The Little Grey Book is presenting us with a minimalist critique of political correctness. However, how much of fun you’ll get out of playing this game is debatable – like all instances of minimal presentation, what’s here is so little that it invites you to fill it in with your own interpretations; you can’t help but imbue this game with your own thoughts and prejudices on the exaggerated premise that it lays down. Likewise, the real fun also comes from just how bastard-ly your friends feel like being when they come up with troubles for you, and how try to wriggle out of the situations they invent.

I do think that there could have been some greater emphasis on some of the unique aspects of the setting, such as noting how the Consensus seems to be a borg-like collective governance, or that the troubles that arise during your day are caused deliberately by the Consensus as a test of a random citizen’s perception of social equality (though how they caused such issues to happen would be a bit tricky to answer).

Ultimately, there’s little to do here, which is sort of the point. Nobody will get through a day without a black mark, but the real fun is in trying. The game here is a very basic framework, and the play style is similarly basic. It’s a simple game, but as they say, sometimes simple is best.

Rating:

[4 of 5 Stars!]

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Review: Airship Pirates

Introduction

Airship Pirates is either a work of genius or a foolhardy and doomed endeavour. Steampunk is big, yes, but it’s still a subculture and this isn’t just a Steampunk RPG its an RPG tied to a particular Steampunk band – Abney Park. There’s a risk, then, that this game could be passed over by people who aren’t simultaneously RPG fans, Steampunk fans and Abney Park fans. That’s a bit of a tall order. That said, subcultural ties worked out great for Vampire.

Background

Something has gone wrong with time and the world has changed, peculiarly. Down on the surface things are a bit post-apocalyptic, up in the air and in mountaintop cities things are all a bit neo-victorian and mighty airships ply the skies, well above the dangerous chrono-fused plains, wastes and jungles below where all manner of monstrous creatures from Earth’s past are wandering around. An oppressive Empire, a wild and dangerous world and airships cruising the skies. It’s a ripe world for air piracy, plunder, adventure, freedom fighting and maybe, even, making things better or worse by tinkering with time yourselves.

Mechanics

Airship Pirates uses the Heresy game engine, which is the same game engine used for Victoriana. While there are a few changes here and there it’s almost entirely compatible with Victoriana – which could make things quite interesting – and thus has the same little rules oddities that Victoriana has, namely the use of both negative dice (chance of reducing successes) and reduction in dice pool which, statistically, amounts to almost the same thing and seems needlessly finicky.

Where Airship Pirates advances the system is, in particular, with the design and customisation of airships which is hardly surprising, given the name of the game, but which could provide a sound basis for the design of vehicles and devices in Victoriana and anything else that comes along using the Heresy system.

Atmosphere

I’m not that familiar with Abney Park being more of a Vernian Process man myself but the game clearly draws quite strongly on the imaginations, costuming, music and lyrics of the chaps and chapettes of Abney Park. The book is full colour, though this pretty much means ‘sepia’! The stories and quoted lyrics do paint a picture but much of the book is, thankfully, a fairly straightforward and unobfuscated world guide.

Personally I was a little disappointed it was concentrated on America, but the bally Abney Park people are filthy colonials and I suppose it gives one room to carve a little bit of the world out for oneself. Many of the ideas presented compensate for yankee parochialism, pirates and aerial cities for just two.

Artwork

It’s hard to nail down exactly what to say about the art. There’s a mix of styles and competencies on display but it’s all appropriate and the eclectic mix of material fits the chronologically kerjiggered nature of the setting. I don’t know if it would necessarily work in another game or setting but it works here.

Conclusion

The genius of this game is that due to all the temporal flux and reality issues going on characters could be crossed over between people’s games, taken and played at – for example – convention games and then going back to their home games. I wish there was a Heresy LARP system because with the crafting/costuming talent and effort of the Steampunk community some LARP events and groups could really accomplish something special and there’s not necessarily any need for them all to jibe perfectly together.

On the plus side

• Pirates!
• Airships!
• Accessible vehicle rules.

On the minus side

• Tied to a relatively obscure band mythology.
• Heresy system quirks.
• ‘Impure’ genre

Score

Style: 4
Substance: 4
Overall: 4

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Review: Saint’s Row III

Introduction

Saint’s Row is a weird little franchise. It’s a GTA rip off, there’s no getting away from that, and that’s pretty much all the first game was. Somehow, since then, it’s taken on a life of its own. While GTA is pretty crazy it maintains a certain amount of verisimillitude in which the humour and craziness takes place.

Saint’s Row II got a little crazy but by the time we find ourselves in the third of the series. Saint’s Row III has finally completely gained its own identity and that identity is balls-out, batshit loco crazy.

This game is FUCKED in the head – in the best possible way.

Normally I play a game completely through before posting a review but here I really don’t feel I have to. In the few hours I’ve found to play already I’m sold. I think I’m even going to play it before Skyrim because frankly, this bloody thing is wonderful.

Story

Do we particularly care? The game opens with two of the craziest, most ludicrous gunfights I have ever seen in a game. With content that strong who cares about story really?

Alright then… basically the Saints – after the end of SRII – rule the city, they have a shitload of money and a financial and media empire, even their own energy drinks. Their ascendency, along with a badly targetted bank robbery, brings them to the attention of The Syndicate. The Syndicate is an international crime organisation with some serious chops and when the Saints reject them they are not happy. So unhappy, in fact, that they decide to fuck with the Saint’s shit and take their empire away from them.

Bad idea.

Rather than coming up from the street as in so many of these games, this is a story of reclamation and revenge and that’s delicious.

Gameplay

You have plenty to do, activities, missions, self-selected missions, storyline, purchasing and building your empire. That’s what I love about these kinds of games, the ability to feel that you are genuinely working to take over a city and build an empire. Something missing from other, similar games where it feels more arbitrary. There’s plenty to do, plenty to keep you busy in the game and it’s all fun and relevant. The only game that’s felt remotely as complete when it comes to empire building on the street, and that’s GTA: Vice City.

Controls

This is a pretty standard third-person sandbox game, so if you’ve played any of those you’ll find this easy enough to get into. No real surprises involved. Cars handle easily which, after GTAIV, was very welcome. The system is improved over the previous SR games and feels less clunky and sluggish on foot, which is also nice.

Atmosphere

This is a crazed, drug-fuelled dream of a city. It’s the extreme end of ludicrous action, Crank meets Shoot ‘em Up meets the worst/best excesses of Hong Kong cinema with a healthy dose of hollywoodised gang culture. The city itself is a cariacature as much as the personalities that inhabit it. Nothing, nothing, NOTHING is taken seriously but, rather than being a loner you do feel part of a gang, a family. Despite the silliness, you do feel part of something bigger.

Graphics

Nothing massively wonderful about the graphics, but they don’t need to be. The character customisation is a great compromise between accessibility and complexity and – while it’s not graphics – the option to have a British accent on your character is very, very welcome. The main thing is, it runs smooth and fast and it’s just as complex as it needs to be and no more.

Conclusion

Crazy-fucking-wonderful.

On the plus side

• Crazy as fuck.
• FUN!
• SR finally feels like its own game.

On the minus side

• Graphics aren’t up to true next-gen snuff.
• A refresher course on the controls and a little hand-holding would have been nice.
• How can they top this?

Style: 4
Substance: 4
Overall: 4

Review: Deus Ex: Human Revolution

Introduction

I grew up on dystopian cyberpunk and it’s hard to think of it as a retro-future style because, for me, it’s always been a big part of the future. The ideas of human augmentation, cybernetics, biogenetic implants and so on have always had their appeal and while SF has moved heavily into trans or post human tropes – taking the remnants of cyberpunk with them.

As I read in a review elsewhere, things have changed since the dawn of cyberpunk in the 80s and its subsequent flourishing. This isn’t ‘the future’ any more, it’s tomorrow, it’s next week. It’s a near future and while Science Fiction is set in the future, it’s always about the ‘now’  and this is no different. Despite being a franchise that’s now ten years old, the background material and some of the themes have been updated to keep things relevant.

Story

It’s the future and human augmentation has become a reality. Cybernetic limbs, neural rewiring, man-machine interface is all proceeding apace. Some people are behind this movement to improve the human condition, others are against it and in between are those injured in wars or accidents who actually need the technology for a decent life. Humanity being what it is this advanced medical technology has also found its way into military uses as well as even less savoury applications put forth by the criminal underworld.

Sarif Industries is one of the main proponents, advancers and advocates for human advancement through technology and also a target for pro-human protesters. Sarif is on the verge of a breakthrough that will help everyone interface with implants more easily and without the need for suppressants and other drugs when they’re attacked.

You take the part of Adam Jenson, security chief for Sarif’s private security force. Grievously wounded in the attack and forced to accept major augmentation you set about tracking down who attacked Sarif, who killed your scientists and why – uncovering a conspiracy along the way.

Gameplay

Deus Ex is primarily a stealth-em-up in the spirit of Metal Gear Solid or Thief. This is definitely a harking back to the original Deus Ex though Human Revolution is far more forgiving – particularly on the easier difficulty settings, than the original was.

Not that you have to play the game as a stealth-em-up, indeed given the forced boss battles you’d be wise to invest some of your cybernetic boosts and money in some fighting and protection abilities since you can’t entirely rely on being a hacker or a ninja to get yourself through.

It’s a hybrid first/third person sneak and shooter with RPG elements – you gain experience which gives you praxis (levels) which you invest in manifesting and enhancing your cybernetic abilities. This represents you getting acclimatised to your implants and thus unlocking their full potential.

The genius of Deus Ex, as with the original, is that there’s always more than one way around a problem and this allows you to play broadly to your preferred style (save the boss battles) and also gives you a fall back if your preferred route is blocked in some way.

Play it as a charge-and-shoot FPS and you will die, play it more in the form of a 3rd person cover shooter, and you’ll do OK. It’s also worth noting that you don’t really have to kill anyone (save the bosses). You could get through almost the whole game non-violently if you wanted to.

The hacking subgame is simple, a combination of luck and resource management but also a key aspect of the game, especially if you want to maximise your experience and rewards as lots of experience, money, easter eggs and cool background information are only available from hacking.

Controls

By and large the controls are good – I played on the PS3 – but the cover system can sometimes be glitchy, meaning you can’t get an angle on an enemy that you should be able to get or that you have to expose yourself from cover – and get shot – to get a line you also should be able to get.

To perform ‘takedown moves’ – which are brilliantly cinematic and don’t lose their lustre – you have to single tap a button to take someone down non-lethally or hold it down to kill them. I found that, occasionally, even when I was trying to take someone down non-lethally I would end up stabbing a bitch, the timings seemed a little sensitive.

Atmosphere

The game does a great job of presenting a future that’s Bladerunner with the grunge turned down a couple of notches. The constant news and radio casts, the people talking in the background, the posters, the e-mails, the presentation is all very well done as is the urban decay. The only drawback, for me, was that the city areas all felt so small and caged in, in spite of the various ways to get to any location and that the citizenry felt very static, very placed, the city didn’t ‘come alive’ until a later level, when, ironically, most people were hiding or should have been. This is the only real flaw in an otherwise flawless presentation.

Graphics

Everything is artfully done though compared to some other titles the characters (other than the main ones) are animated a little woodenly, particularly the facial expressions. The game is quite dingy, quite dark, which is atmospheric and also covers the worst sins but overall the presentation, the graphics, the thought that’s gone into it all is excellent.

Conclusion

All things considered an excellent cyberpunk game with only a very few flaws to marr it from perfection. Great story, great look, great execution.

On the plus side

• Great story.
• Nicely updated to today’s concerns.
• Layered, revelatory plot.

On the minus side

• Occasional game ‘judder’ as it pauses to load.
• Forced violent confrontations (boss fights).
• Full of conspiracy nonsense, which is a massive turn-off for me.

Score

Style: 4 (Just a few niggles).
Substance: 5 (Perhaps not long enough, per se, or deep enough, but the rich background and characterisation compensates).
Overall: 4.5

Review by Ian Warner: Abandon All Hope

Introduction
Prisons are under used as a setting in any fictional medium and that is a crying shame. One of the secrets to the construction of a good drama is trapping your Characters. There is no better way of trapping your Characters than locking them up!

Though somewhat under used the set up has created some really good stories. Not just the American stuff most Roleplayers would be familiar with but throughout the English speaking world shows like Blake’s 7, Porridge and Scum have used the claustrophobia of prison (or in Blake’s 7’s case a ship full of escaped prisoners) to great dramatic effect.

As a fan of the prison setting it gave me great pleasure to read Abandon All Hope by Dominic Covey and Miguel De Dios. It is an American game by American authors who, by the list of inspirations, may not even be aware of the British prison or trapped settings. It does however feel like a cross between Porridge (yes there are some funny bits), Blake’s 7 and Red Dwarf with a side order of classic American supernatural horror in the Lovecraft vein.

Anyone who’s read any of my Shadow World stuff knows I have real trouble taking supernatural horror seriously however as it was prison set I was willing to give Abandon All Hope the benefit of the doubt.

So how does it fair? Is it a veritable Grouty, a conniving Fletcher or just the prison bitch?

Let’s find out!

Background
The story of the Prison Ship Gehenna is neatly albeit briefly explained in the opening few pages. It’s a typical rise of dystopia story that we’ve all read lots of times before yet it is, I believe innovative in who it is that takes charge after the interplanetary nuclear war that destroyed the old ways is concluded.

The Panterran Meritocracy is not particularly political or even religious. Its sole concern is its own strict moral code. No reasoning behind this moral code beyond the maintenance of order and everyone just getting along.

Not so much Mary Whitehouse or Jack Chick in charge as their pushy offence culture left wing secular equivalents. Not sure which is worse to be honest? In either set up I’d be screwed!

Anyway I kind of like this stylistic choice. Takes it away from the usual frothing loonies and instead points out the supposedly “reasonable” side of offence culture is just as bad.

What I would have liked more is a little more clarification on specific points. Is homosexuality a vice offence for example? Within the Panterran Meritocracy set up it could go either way. I understand the desire to “play it safe” a bit but making a firm decision on the controversial stuff makes for a more coherent setting view.

The solution of the Meritocracy to its “moral collapse” is to export its entire prison population on colony ships bound for deep space, the first of which is the Gehenna. This resonates with me and my recent research into Transportation as a punishment in the 18th Century. I can totally see it working in a Science Fiction setting especially when you can automate the guards as with the Gehenna’s Custodians.

There is plenty with this set up to run a decent game on its own but… oh no Covey and De Dios insist on taking us to Hell… LITERALLY!

Okay fair play… like all good horror writers they never specify if it really is the Biblical Hell rather they describe it as an alternate dimension populated by beings that feed on Guilt, Despair and Insanity.

This is supposed to be the Prisoners’ story however and to the Prisoners they are in Hell and Demons are after their souls!

As I said the supernatural bit can be done away with if you prefer but personally I like the idea of beings like these demons haunting a prison. It’s a veritable banquet for them!

Overall though it doesn’t go into great detail the setting is thought provoking, evocative and above all captivating. A real achievement for the pair of them!

Mechanics
This is where Abandon All Hope falls down in my opinion.

I have two main areas of criticism. The first isn’t particularly valid for a general audience as it is simply a personal bugbear of mine: The fact that multiple die types are needed.

Maybe it’s because I started with Paranoia and nWoD rather than the more traditional entry game of D&D but I really can’t stand the use of multiple die types. I find it needlessly fiddly and rather irritating in that there are more specialist polyhedrals to lose to my natural clumsiness.

As I said that is a personal preference, maybe you like that in your games, I don’t. What I’m sure you all like in your games though is clearly presented and laid out rules.

I’m not going to mince my words here the way the rules are presented is confusing and lacks the logical process I’ve encountered in most other books. Roleplaying Games can, at times, seem very formulaic but they are so for a reason. The formula works for getting across the rules in a concise manner.

Whilst most games devote a few pages or even a whole chapter to explaining the core mechanic Abandon All Hope relegates it to a sidebar in Character Creation.

Seriously?

There are also inconsistencies from the later chapters to the earlier chapters as to whether a higher dice type is a good or a bad thing and although Character Creation is well explained and the Armoury well stocked (with justification as to how dangerous prisoners got hold of such deadly weapons) it’s just the core mechanic presentation that lets the whole thing down.

It is a crying shame because from what I can make out of the system it is quite sound and I am particularly fond of Guilt, Despair and Insanity as game mechanics that influence the manifestation of Demons and Psychic Powers.

It remains disappointing that it wasn’t better explained though.

Atmosphere
This is where Abandon All Hope redeems its lack of mechanical development. Gehenna feels like a proper prison. So often in artistic work prison is sanitised to be more palatable. Not here! They’re not so tasteless as to put in an off colour joke about showers but you really get the atmosphere of dangerous criminals and non conformists thrown together and struggling to survive.

The supernatural element doesn’t jar with this at all, connected as it is with the key psychological effects of prison life. As I explained I didn’t quite get the rules but from what I can tell the Guilt, Despair and Insanity mechanics are an aid to establishing the atmosphere rather than a stick to ram it down your throat as it can be in other horror games.

Overall the Atmosphere of Abandon All Hope is spot on its setting and a real inspiration to those who want to write their own prison games.

Artwork
Artwork in Abandon All Hope is reminiscent of old White Wolf stuff but without any of the corniness associated with some of its publications. This may seem a bit “old school” for a game with a brand new system but then again so is a brand new system with multiple dice types so go figure!

Conclusion
As a Setting Abandon All Hope has a lot of potential and for all I’ve whined about the System having reread it again and again for the purposes of reviewing it I’m sure with better presentation it would be an awesome game for some groups.

Alas not mine but I’m sure there are groups out there who’ll love it.

Diversity is one of the best aspects of the hobby. Even when it gets on your tits!

Style: 4.5/5
Substance: 3/5
Overall: 3.75/10

Review: Duke Nukem Forever

Introduction
Duke Nukem has become most notorious for the huge development cycle of the latest game, Duke Nukem Forever. Back in the day it was a pretty unremarked, par for the course first-person shoot-em-up. Known for being good fun and somewhat innovative, people seem to have forgotten – judging by remarks and reviews – what it was about. To accuse Duke Nukem of being misogynistic, puerile and gory is to miss the point. Of course it is. Duke was and is a revelling in the macho action culture of the 1980s films that are reflected in the recycled lines that Duke spouts. He’s a mockery, a cipher, not any sort of deep commentary and to read more into it than that is to be bloody foolish.

In my opinion there was no way the makers could have ‘won’ at making this game. The sheer amount of time involved in getting the game back into existence created expectations that no company could ever have met. Modernise it too much and you de-Duke Duke Nukem, fail to change it and you get a cloud of manufactured moral outrage which, while great for publicity does create a stink that tends to taint things.

Story
You don’t really go to a Duke Nukem game for deep and engaging storylines and if you do, you’re a twit. The story of Duke, insomuch as there is one, is that aliens have arrived on Earth and are stealing our babes. This annoys Duke inordinately, so he kicks their arses. That’s pretty much it. Along the way he destroys a mothership, closes a wormhole and kills a hell of a lot of alien bastards.

This did fall a bit flat for me since the storyline – such as it is – is ‘save the babes’ but you can’t particularly save any babes (perhaps two that I noticed) during play. That left me with a bit of a hollow feeling since it’s pretty much Duke’s only motivation.

Gameplay
This is largely standard gameplay – at least for the first person parts. You run around, you shoot things, you dodge behind cover. It’s an unreconstructed FPS but that also means that it lacks a lot of the innov,tions of more modern-styled games, but then that feels like a deliberate choice. This is an ‘old school’ experience, just with an updated set of graphics and, perhaps a more risque nature, since you can actually get away with more these days, for all the outcry. It’s an enjoyable enough game and the gameplay is good enough, you just have to get yourself back into the mindset of the old way to play and I think this might be behind some of the negative reviews, people failing to to dial the right amount of time into the Wayback Machine.

There are lots of little mini-games, things you do to increase your ego (health) such as lifting weights, playing pinball and so on and there are also driving sections, which are a nice break from the normal action and not too annoying (a common problem with these sorts of things). The only gameplay part that really lets the game down – at least on the console – is the massive loading time each time you die. This is only compounded into a ‘WTF?’ when you realise that dying during the driving sections DOESN’T force a reload. This gets really annoying, really quickly, especially during a couple of later jumping puzzles.

Controls
I played on the console (PS3) and, as always for someone who has played FPS games for a long time it doesn’t feel as ‘right’ as mouse and keyboard but despite ‘aim correction’ being a bit of a lie in the settings, it’s not too hard to hit your enemies even with a controller. Weapon switching is limited to two weapons – which is a bit of a disappointment – and bombs and mines are worked with the shoulder buttons, which is a bit fiddly. You take boost items with the pad, which can also be a little fiddly (beer makes you tougher, steroids make you do more damage in melee, you can drop a holoduke to distract enemies and you can use ‘duke vision’ to see in the dark – though this isn’t much better than the dark itself).

Atmosphere
Again, this isn’t going to be something you really go to a Duke Nukem game for, but this is something that the game manages to pull off better than previously. You do get a sense of the city under attack, and of Duke himself under attack. The alien hive does feel disgusting. The only ways I think it lets you down is that some of the ‘sets’ are starkly under-dressed compared to others, as though there wasn’t enough time to completely fill out all the levels. There’s still lots of little details here and there, girlie calendars, soft porn mags, working drinks machines. It’s worth exploring the nooks and crannies just to find fun little things to encounter or play with – like the phone answering machines.

Graphics
There’s nothing particularly outstanding here, it’s a pretty standard issue current-gen game as far as the graphics are concerned. I didn’t notice many screen artefacts and one thing I did appreciate was the care that seemed to have gone into characters holding things or… ahh… touching themselves. Many games go about this half-arsed but in Duke Nukem Forever you don’t get that ‘puppet body’ effect that was so noticable in LA Noire (compared to the facial animation). That said, Duke’s movements – as seen in mirrors – are pretty wooden and terrible. I’ve not played the multiplayer (I dislike playing with random arseholes on the net) so I have no idea whether other players look as bad I’m afraid.

Conclusion
If you can appreciate a wholesale pisstake of macho 80s culture and a boot up the arse of postmodern sacred cows. This is a good game for you. If you’re going to take it seriously and analyse the shit out of it, buy something else. I played the crap out of Duke Nukem on the PC back in the day and while this doesn’t have the replay value I’ve enjoyed the experience and I’m going to complete the game. That pretty much says it all as far as a review can go. It’s nice to have Duke back and, you know what? I like adult content in games, even if it’s immature content. Sometimes it’s nice to just kick back and enjoy something for what it is on its face. A particularly like the digs at Halo, Fallout and other games that are worked through the whole game, for me at least, that’s what really makes it. Like a cranky old drill sargeant calling out the new recruits, Duke takes the piss out of these usurpers. I hope there’s a new Duke game, brought out a bit more quickly this time around and with a bit more spit and polish but for now, this’ll do nicely.

Further to my review, I’d like to refer you to THIS brilliant article.

On the Plus Side

• Nipples.
• This game really, really doesn’t give a fuck.
• Poor PR control by the PR company has exposed to a wider audience the shenanigans that go on behind games reviewing by professionals.

On the Minus Side

• Needed more polish.
• I have to put up with people whining about the game.
• No great shakes for replay value.

Score
Style: 4
Substance: 2.5
Overall: 3.25

Review: Dust Tactics

Introduction Dust Tactics is a pulpy, alternate history game set in a world where WWII didn’t end so rapidly and is, in fact, ongoing after the date it ended in our world. Access to strange technology has advanced all sides forward – perhaps most especially the Germans – to the point where there are now walking tanks, laser weapons and where the more esoteric weapons of the genuine war are far more common. It’s a boardgame/skirmish game hybrid, with simple, accessible rules based upon the ‘Dust’ world of Paolo Parente.Background The Dust world is one where WWII has ended up in, essentially, a stalemate and the world has settled into three blocs. Allies, Axis and the Sino-Soviets. Thanks to discovered and exploited alien(?) technology things are more advanced than the late 40′s setting might lead you to believe. The world is still at war, but it is a war with lasers, rocket planes and other pulp-science apparatus as well as zombies and genetically engineered gorillas. Yes, it’s a little gonzo, but it’s also pretty bloody wonderful for all that. You take the part of one side or another (US Rangers or German soldiers) in the basic set, battling in Antarctica over the research bases the Axis have there. Mechanics Dust Tactics uses a very, very simple system. Troops are organised into squads of 5 (or 5+Hero) and vehicles are treated independently. The board is made up – usually – of 9 boards, each of 9 squares. Each square houses a vehicle, or a squad. The terrain is broken up with wall sections and with crates and tank traps that provide cover. You take turns to activate units and each unit can – normally – take two actions. Move, Shoot and any combination thereof. Certain units have special abilities that they can use – such as berserk which lets you reroll an attack – or disposable, limited use weaponry like underslung grenade launchers that you can use in a pinch. Attack and defence is handled by 6-sided dice, divided into four blank sides and two ‘target’ sides. To resolve attacks you roll dice and the targets, if they come up, qualify as hits. So it’s essentially a very simple dicepool system. Atmosphere The world is well realised, though being a skirmish/boardgame there’s not a huge amount of explanatory text and a lot is skimmed over, though the information is out there to be found. A bit more text on background/world-setting would have been nice to have, but I’m sure more will be coming along with expansions. Much of the atmosphere comes from the artwork. Artwork The artwork is universally excellent though, when it comes to terrain, the flatness of the wall tiles is a bit of a disappointment, especially since all the photographs in the book show 3D terrain. It’s easy enough to print out and fold your own wall sections/bunkers if you’ve any facility with photoshop and, indeed, that’s what I’ve started to do for my own game. The miniatures themselves are well designed – though being plastic some of the guns end up looking like they would shoot around corners. It’s a damn shame you have to pay a premium for pre-painted and I would draw comparison with Rackham’s AT-43, but since Rackham appear to have gone bust, perhaps FFG are on the right track by not offering them pre-painted as standard. Still, for someone with little/no time to paint, it is a disappointment. Conclusion Having played a few games now it feels that the two sides aren’t particularly balanced – as presented in the base game. The German ‘bots in particular seem much more powerful than their opposite number and the US hero’s ability is nowhere near as useful as that of his opposite number. I can see how this could be offputting to some people coming to the game, though this may just be my experience. There are expansions coming out, though whether they’ll fulfil the promise of the basic game and the stated aims/expansions of the booklet (the game’s been through at least two developers) remains to be seen, but I hope so. I’m a little worried to see the more esoteric and high-tech expansion units coming first, I’d rather see some more basic unit options. Personally, I’m really holding out for the Sino-Soviet mecha and soldiers – always had a weakness for Communist design and iconography – so I hope the game succeeds and continues to expand, at least to the point where I can get some Soviet and British troops! The Antarctic setting of the base game is also a little disappointing, bleak and uninteresting visually and I’d rather not paint my figs in arctic camo, as it will make the troops hard to distinguish from one another. This is all nitpicking. The game is simplistic, but that also means that it’s fast to play and for someone with limited time to game, that’s a boon. Now I just need people to play against! On the Plus Side Good sculpting. Solid construction, good pieces. Fast/brutal to play. On the Minus Side Card terrain is a little disappointing. Lacks depth/info – at the moment. Antarctic setting is bleak and makes for samey looking figs (if you paint them that way). Score Style: 4.5 Substance: 3.5 Overall: 4